Counting Our Blessings

I almost don't know how to address the topic of the Gulf Coast Hurricane, or even if I should. But, then again, how can I not? Hurricane Katrina is so similar to 9/11 in my mind, in that I will always remember what I was doing and who I was with when I first saw the destruction that will forever change me in some way.

I can not even fathom what the people on the Gulf Coast, particularly in New Orleans, are experiencing. Losing everything and thinking you've hit bottom - only to have something else taken away...and then something else...over and over again. They must feel so alone and afraid and it absolutely breaks my heart. I have cried many tears over the last few days on their behalf, and I only wish that my tears could help. I have watched FOX News while holding Jack and praying for those mom's and dad's who can't find water or food for their babies that they love just as much as I love my little boy. I am trying to take advantage of every second he will let me cuddle him, because this has made me so acutely aware of the pain I would feel if I couldn't. And I think he must know that something's not quite right, becaue he has been extra-snuggly, as Phillip captured earlier today:

Phillip and I are always avid Weather Watchers, especially when there's a hurricane, because his folks live across the bay from Mobile. (They are fine, praise the Lord.) When Ivan rolled through, we stayed up all night watching and waiting for it to make landfall. This time, we had such a bad feeling, we didn't watch until Katrina was well into her destruction. I can still hardly believe it.

I don't really know what else to say, and I am certainly not one to be at a loss for words. We must all do what we can to help these people who have lost everything. I am humbled to think that if Phillip had further investigated a job opening in Shreveport, these haunting images we are watching on TV from the comfortableness of our intact home could be us. Seriously...why them and not us? Situations like this really play on my anxiety and I begin to feel a lot of guilt. Guilt that I am warm and dry and full and that my sweet baby has food and water and clean diapers. I guess it's kind of like Survivor's Guilt. But I want to be thankful, too. Thankful that my family and I are safe. And then I want my thankfulness to translate into action. I want to send money and supplies and whatever else I can do for these people who have nothing. I want to give more than I think I can, and then give some more.

On another (related) note, I am writing this blog from home, not from Memphis as we had planned. FOX cancelled the American Idol auditions in Memphis this weekend. So many of the Survivors are making their way to Memphis, and FOX felt that the city should be free to dedicate all their resources to those who really needed it. Sure, we're disappointed, and we are allowing ourselves to say and feel that - but we are also very much in support of the decision. These Survivors should be our nation's first priority, and we are so thankful to be safe that it's hard to be too upset about it. There will be an alternate city announced soon, so we'll just try to make it to that one if we can. I will keep everyone posted.

In the meantime, I encourage everyone to dig deep and donate here. And God Bless you all.